After my initial and unintended encounter with the Toe/Datura Spirit (read about it here) I had made my mind that I wanted to know more about her and work with her more closely. I had fallen in love with her beauty and pristine energy and couldn’t wait to see her again; if I had any reservations or fears regarding her nature, those had been already complety dissipated.
I asked someone that had been studying sacred plants for long and he suggested following the ways of some indigenous groups that start by using leaves in a cross tied up to the forehead and neck, while sleeping, to try and connect with her spirit, so I made a mental note of this method for when I could acquire some of her leafs. I would find my opportunity within a week and while visiting Guapulo park for a walk when I caught a glimpse of a Datura Tree, this was the red orange variety and had but ONE single flower left on. Again, I saw this as a gift of the spirit and I respectfully approached the tree and asked for its flower and 4 leaves; I would be sleeping with them this night.
What followed included no more visits of beautiful bright pristine spirits but several consecutive nights of “lucid nightmares”. I had not experience lucid dreaming since May 2012 and was overjoyed to see this ability returning to me, even if in nightmarish settings. The Toe spirit, relentlessly and mercilessly, used dreams to show me every single fear I have inside me, one after another, some of them even from my unconscious mind, which I didn’t even know I had carried within me. That week, in the dreamscape, I was taken back to childhood nightmares, back to re-living visions of grey ET heads looking down to me when opening my eyes. Some other nights were about more psychological fears such as the idea of been left alone, seen my parents and husband dying. Another more trivial and not less scary night I was tied by my hands to a post and watching a humongous, nasty looking spider slowly crawling down towards me. Some of the later nights I relieved my fears towards uncontrolled out of body experiences (obe’s) and all the torturous physical sensations those bring about for me including vertigo and asphyxia. I knew deep healing was taking place, but I felt exhausted and like having been brought to my knees. There was a very distinct personality difference between this spirit and that of Ayahuasca, the latter had always been overly caring and gentle to me. To put it one way, any rough experience in Aya would stop before my breaking point, every time, always. These Toe orchestrated dreams (and future experiences with her appearing under Aya influence) literally brought me to breaking point, and then some. I had certainly subestimated the toughness of the training with this teacher; i had let myself be lured in by her inconceivable beauty…
**Warning: Ingestion of Toe / Datura is highly toxic, potentially deadly and not advisable. This is a plant spirit revered as sacred in many ancient civilizations and should be approached with respect.