The second ceremony night in this visit I experienced the same gentleness and lack of body symptoms, the wise voice made its appearance significantly earlier and I lost no time in presenting my questions. Why do I hear you as a man when everybody else’s seems to identify you as a female? The voice responded shifting from male to a women’s voice: “Because you distrust women” before shifting back to a male presence and voice.
He then showed me numerous images containing information about events that became the source of my distrust and the many facets in which it was manifesting in my life both currently and in the past. So many events running through my eyes in fast imagery, I could barely keep up with them. Once that was finished I arrived to an insight: my distrust in women was in a way a reflection of distrusting my own heart, my judgment, and my emotions.. In essence, distrusting my own feminine side…
I was prompted in a telepathic insight (as opposed to the male or female voice): what else do you distrust?, I knew the answer: I distrust you… Also I distrust plant medicines!!!!! OMG I distrust plant medicines!!! It hit me as a wave of understanding. The response was as witty and as sarcastic as the joke the previous night; An exaggerated display of fireworks reminiscent of 4th of July festivities at is best, accompanied with background cheers laughter and applause was displayed in front of me… an exageration I thought Ok, ok ok this is an important realization, I get it now, and it will be hard to forget … (later on i would find this same treatment to specific insights where it seemed important that i retain concious memory post the ceremony… where many vision and insights are usually lost to fragile memory in the morning….)
I had enough time for another pressing question: Why don’t I get the fantastic visions Roberto gets? My husband had been having the most visually striking experiences: ancient civilizations, past lives, interstellar portals that let him travel in time, fast travel teleportation and on and on… I just couldn’t help to feel a little bit envious every time we exchanged experiences over breakfast…She responded quickly and plainly: “Give it up for now, we will work in different ways “. She then explained the many reasons for this, which were inclusive off: my tendencies to escape reality and my fearful nature that was developed when growing up a psychic kid incapable of distinguishing visions from reality and haunted by darkness connections (spirits and demons attacks). Certainly, I still needed to heal my fear of visions. Later on I would realize this what the reason why, when needed, I would be shown threatening visions (such as the aliens in my first session) in a non-threatening way (as drawings in an encyclopedia with flipping pages). It never ceases to amaze me how conscious and aware of my needs and how compassionate this wise plant spirit is.
There was something more Aya wanted to explain, “you had been a shaman in past lives and don’t need that experience again, we will take the work somewhere else” and a reminder of the earlier events came to me
In the past I had been trained in specific clearing techniques in a mystery school in Shasta California, earlier in the journey when Aya started showing me all the distrust sources and connections I automatically started to apply the psychic contract clearing techniques I had learned there. This “way” would become a constant in our sessions to follow, she would show me aspects I needed understanding off, I would clear them of mostly psychic contracts (learn more about it here) and then she would sort of “eat up” remnant energy. By then, I had started to see her in visions as a charicaturesque snake, with cute chubby checks and all, gobbling up on energy remanants… she was sticking to her commitment of presenting me only with non-threatening / no fear triggering imagery and I was quite grateful for that …
There were a few more points that were explained about been a shaman… I don’t recall the exact wording of them but they were related to shamans believing and feeling they had power only during influence of the hallucinogenic drink.. and hence becoming vulnerable during “normal awake” state.. The goal was to maintain vision and power on both sides: normal awake state and altered consciousness states (including dreaming, OBEs or meditation).. Finally she said something very specific that would take me a while to understand: “your main goal will be bridging the “other side” to your awake side”….