The Discovery of the AfterGlow The Good and The Tricky……

The sense of connectedness, clarity and calm happiness continued during the next following weeks. This was something I did not expect, the shaman had only said please follow the diet for two weeks and the healing positive energies will remain with you…

I noticed significant changes in my overall mood, I was happy and contempt all the time with no specific reason.  I realized that I had been before in a chronic depression I wasn’t fully aware off until now having it been lifted, happines felt unusual.

One of the most telling symptom changes was that I did not need to forcefully occupy my day.  Before, I had a strong need to ensure I had activities planned like  shopping, banks, yoga, friends’ visits, and specific tasks for working in my art shop. Now, I was comfortable with not having plans, with letting the day unfold and just do whatever I pleased. I did not find staying in the house with no plans either boring or threatening anymore. I actually enjoyed moments of solitude and peace and just being on my own. I also started to feel a strong rejection towards crowded places (concerts, shopping malls in weekends, movie theaters in box opening days) I felt energetically affected by them and would avoid them at all cost, whereas before I would go to the movies every single weekend regardless of what was playing…

When I was able to consciously identify all these unexpected changes I was marveled, how could two nights alone have had such a profound healing impact? what were the possibilities? Having a history of observation and work in myself I carried a list of internal issues I would love to work on, among them: my inability to open my heart with my partner, phobia to spiders, rejection to my femininity, the list went on and on…  I wanted to do more work, to get deeper with it so I started to research about retreat healing centers in Ecuador and found one that offered 12 days San Pedro, Ayahuasca and Temazcal ceremonies, I signed up for it  however the next opportunity was two and a half months down the road. I couldn’t wait……

My 2 weeks diet ended almost (yeah I cheated breaking in 2 days early) on time for Christmas and Year Ends Celebrations which I spent in Guayaquil (8 hrs away form my new home in Quito). I felt happy and at ease around family and old friends…. which brings me to the “tricky” side of the afterglow. When I related my experience to family and friends I found unexpected responses, somehow my parents were very open to it, welcoming and supportive of it (???) … The shocker were some of my closest friends… they had been gracious in entertaining conversations regarding my initial curiosity and experience however they became increasingly concerned and judgmental when hearing of my determination to go back to it and go deeper in the work… Some of them became outright straight critical: “do you think you can drink your way to illumination?” “What do you seek? What else could you possibly want?” or just innocently questioning in a form of silent criticism “are you sure of these decisions?, You are not supposed to need anything external you know, everything is already inside you…” but I had no choice but to maintain my self-promise of radical truth living. These were hard moments for me as I have never taken criticism particularly well when coming from people I care about.. Aya, however had a lesson in store for me. It felt like a second layer of shedding, after having left my whole life in Canada just a couple of months ago.  I was now witnessing the distancing and shedding of my old friends as well, physical distance did not make the difference here, it was now a matter of vibrational distance… I didn’t know yet that feeling lonely and missunderstood would not last for long…

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