Its a matter of odd circumstances how long it took me to meet this teacher, as a matter of fact, it was the idea of iboga that made me first explore the sacred plants path. I had touched rock bottom on my dealing with eating disorders and unhealthy dieting and prayed from the heart for an answer …. when someone recommended it shortly after, I felt it was a message even though I knew nothing about psychodelics, and the closest to drugs I ever had was my daily coffee…. I started researching…
Fast foward 6 years later, 2 of them enthusiastically exploring sacred plants availabe to me in Ecuador (ayahuasca, san pedro, datura) and I finally got my opportunity to meet this powerful teacher in a retreat center in costa rica.
I will say upfront, Iboga, even in the small doses I was given at this center and later on in several solo journeys, is by far the most powerful and harshest teacher I have met, it has an affinity towards (mercilessly and maddening) eternal loops of repetitive visions making you face the most uncomfortable truths about yourself.
In my first journey I was haunted with visions of death and impermanence, images and situations that reafirmed how meaningless our passing through this earth is…. how aging and dying is inevitable (not only for myself but for all my beloved ones) and something that we will encounter often in loneliness and pain (was shown and felt the final days on almost every person Ive met and have known to pass away) and how earth is been destroyed and in an inevitably doomed path…. if there is such thing as psychological tourture, that is what I endured.
Weeks after my experience I was left with this subtle sadness and loomingness, unable to comprehend why shuch things were shown to me, what was the purpose of making me aware to the bones (yet in a surprisingly dettached way) of all these uncomfortable truths we all know but somehow manage not to think much about? why strip me out of all hope?
The answer didnt come to me until later on the afterglow of a follow up session. “You had asked to be rid of fear and of the unnecessary suffering that the criticism of others brings to you” in one brief second it all clicked in and made sense, these were lessons on self importance and the need to let go of fear….and ultimately, these were lessons on perspective and proper priorities as in the light of our own inevitable death (and the death of everything that is beloved to us) all fear and all self importance looses real meaning…
The physical aspects of the journey were relatively mild compared to my previous harsh sacred plant encounters, not even purging and no impossibilitating dizzines, beware though, this is not what I understand most will experience, and I have a significant amount of previous work done with plants… The visions were remarkably crispy clear and at points, as real as real life, even with eyes open, truly a mesmerizing journey
The after effects were very resilient with deep fatigue and heavy need for profund sleep and bright speckles of light in the peripheral vision for several days; lucid dreaming with more visions and lesons lasting for weeks on
Working with plants can bring about subtle changes many are prone to miss and maybe even attribute to coincedence. However, with iboga I can attest the effects were not subtle; I can noticeably see myself been much more clear in perspective of my relationships and life goals, much more heart opened and connected with my feelings and emotions that I had ever been.
There were many more visions, issues touched upon and learnings in my first 4 iboga experiences (including a visit to the matrix, clearing negative alien connections, forgiveness in my relationship with mom, meeting with a good friend that passed away all to soon) however Im very clear that the teaching I’ve choosen to expand on this post was its master lesson, and its greatest gift to me “we are nothing but grains of salt in the oceans of time, all we can hope for in our brief moment here, is to have loved and had been loved and to have made our time worth it”